The little beast graduated from pre-school last week. The teachers and the darling hubby all had bets how I would be the first to cry out of all the other moms :/. I tried so hard not to but well....who we kidding? I cry at commercials. I was so proud of my peanut & she walked in so proud of herself. Really so cute, hands to her side, looking straight ahead. I'm totally not ready yet to have a kindergartner.
I'm really having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she may be my only peanut. I've been saying for 5 years now there is still time and trying to work up the nerve not to be scared but cant seem to do it. The fact is I'm terrified to have to go thru that again. If it happens again what do I do with Madison? When she was in the NICU we never went home, literally the nurses would have to kick us out. I seriously dont know how we did it for so long with no sleep. How would I be able to do that again with Maddie at home. Its not fair to her to leave but it would be fair to leave the new baby in the hospital alone. I know if I didnt have another baby my heart would ache forever thinking of the what ifs...and yes I'm also thinking the worse. I dont know. I could have a perfectly healthy baby next time around. Ok I'm rambling now....I think this heat is going to my head. For some reason I'm so mushy tonight :/

xoxo
Jessica

Madison is our little beast as everyone knows....yes I call her my little peanut BUT deep down shes a beast. I've never seen a four year old who knows how to work it like this girl does.
This morning again, I start to yell to come and get dressed for school and the little *beast* comes in the room with one hand on her hip and says *Ah mom, you need to just relax a bit and chill out* Seriously? At four years old? The sad thing is she is like this totally because of me. Instead of killing her like I should've, I crack up. The girl knows I'm wrapped....I cant help it, she makes me melt still.